Table for One

zimowaryba:

Tragedy has struck My Vagina as the first layer of My Uterine Lining is expelled in an agonizing wave of blood and carnage straight from My Birth Organ, The Uterus. The wake of this disaster is wide-spread and devastating, most prominent on The Bed Sheets and My Cute Undies that are now stained red, the colour of massacre.

Up Next: HORNY WOMAN WANTS TOWN TO FUCK HER

Later: Starbucks discontinues hazelnut flavor-shot….Why am I crying?

(via weight-a-second)

iguanabones:

first date ideas: show your date to everybody in town… wearing a salmon suit

(via manda)

dead-pendragon:

heterophilia:

Thinking youre attractive but having a lot of insecurities is like having a crush on yourself but not knowing if you like yourself back.

SOMEONE SAID IT

(via fityourselfhappy-deactivated201)

oswidge:

this shirt from dave the barbarian really speaks to me

(via zackisontumblr)

notakoolkidd:

that moment when you see something that lowkey kills you inside but you have to act cool about it 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

(via sarahfarquad-deactivated2022123)